LHYA Regatta Weekend

Gather round children; let me tell you a story of sails and whales, ropes and dopes, waves and Daves.  This is the tale of the vessel Unplugged and her crew’s dreams of flags, battle scars, beer, and everlasting glory.  Two of these dreams came true this past weekend, the jury’s still out on the other two (but don’t hold your breath about the last one).

The LHYA (or LYHA as some t-shirts would have you believe) regatta was this past weekend, and Unplugged was entered in the Cruising Asymmetrical division.  Suprisingly, the latter part of the division name was not a commentary on the crew’s rather homely appearance.  These three unkempt, uncouth sailors had bravely navigated the boat south from Port Sanilac into the foreboding waters just outside of Port Huron.  Two other boats (Whitewater and On a Whim) had unwisely entered the same division as the mighty Unplugged and her unorthodox crew.  This unwieldly crew consistented of the relative greenhorn Dave and the relatively maniacal Brian.  As always, behind the helm (and the madness) was the relatively stoic Captain Tim. 

The races began and Unplugged took an early lead, winning both of Saturday’s races.  The crew then took an unplanned victory lap due to an inability to listen to the radio or understand the flags on the committee boat (both of which stated that the day’s 3rd race had been canceled).  After this minor setback, Unplugged set sail for port with James Brown’s “I Feel Good” blaring through her shiny new outdoor speakers.  After docking, many beers were drank, and it was noted that the local band played “Sultans of Swing” at least 3 times.  There was also a lengthy debate regarding whether certain specialized fireworks were spherical or planar in nature (signs pointed to planar).

Day Two began with pancakes and AC/DC (a potent combination).  Unplugged approached the startline blaring “The Razor’s Edge;” her crew unable to foresee the giant dose of irony that was being delivered at 100+ db.  Captain Tim skippered Unplugged out to an early lead in the third race, but, on the second leg, the cruel mistress that is the spinnaker was hoisted to her throne at the bow of the boat.  Some rather avant-garde spinnaker packing resulted in a finely shaped hourglass of blue and yellow just off the bow.  As Brian took the wheel (this should be a sign to those familar with Brian’s helming abilities), Captain Tim raced to the bow to “fix the glitch.”  The spinnaker was freed from her prison of tanglitude, filled with wind, and released her fury upon an unsuspecting Dave.  Determined to break free of the ropes that bound her, Spinnaker pulled with supernatural force on the sheet being tended by Dave.  As the rope turned to razor blades his hands, Dave decided that the pain was merely a sign he should hold the rope tighter.  Dave’s reward for his stubborness?  Two fistfuls of blisters and cuts.  Dave adopted a hockey player’s mentality towards this gentleman’s sport and proclaimed “I can still race.” 

 

 Due to his unspecificed upper-body injury, Dave was relegated to minor rope-release duty.  Whitewater took advantage of Unplugged’s moment of weakness and snatched a first place.  Unplugged took the downtime inbetween races to regroup and thoroughly bandage Dave’s hands:

 The fourth race, Unplugged was back to her old self, screaming across the finish line with Brian screaming on the bow as he forced the pole to keep the jib in it’s proper shape.  Unplugged won this 4th and final race of the weekend, and again, the boat and her crew celebrated with the soulful sounds of the “Hardest Working Man in Show Business.”

The crew attended the awards ceremony and Captain Tim accepted the flag for first in the Crusing Assymetrical division.  Congratulations were shared and the beer flowed. 

Later that evening, Dave and Brian visited Meijer and Dave performed the Ointment Dance.

 

I know; I promised you whales.  But, it’s the great lakes; c’mon guy.